*** We interrupt your regularly scheduled program for a breaking news announcement ***

 POLICE HUNT FOR CUPCAKE RAGE WOMAN AFTER SHOP WRECKED!!  

Not from the Onion:

AN ANGRY woman wrecked a cake shop – because they had run out of her favourite flavour of cupcake.

Say again?

Police were yesterday hunting the blonde woman accused of trashing the shop in the centre of Cardiff after being told: “Sorry we’ve sold them all.”  The woman lashed out in fury at Sugarswirlz in Dominions Arcade, when she was told the £2.20 “sweet-tooth fairy cakes” had all gone.  She dived behind the counter to grab shocked owner Sally Dodd by the hair.  Staff and customers had to duck for cover as she smashed plate glass display units, crashed down shelves and attacked a stand full of creamy cupcakes.  The irate woman then started to throw cupcakes round the shop – aiming them at shoppers and staff in the fit of cake-rage.  Police are appealing for help to trace the woman, who fled with her two young sons at Sugarswirlz cake shop in the middle of the Welsh capital.

What flavor of cupcake could seduce someone to lose their mind?  Red-velvet?

“It is called the sweet tooth fairy cake and is very popular."

The sweet tooth fairy?  She sounds like the evil half-sister of the tooth fairy.

"I’ve never seen anything like it. You expect a certain amount of risk running a bar or a pub but not in a cupcake shop.”

Indeed.

The full story is here.  Longtime readers of this blog know that something like this was tragically inevitable.  The gourmet cupcake mask slips, and the serpent's hideous face peaks out.

And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die


12 Responses to “CUPCAKE RAGE: Comfort food addict trashes cupcake store”

  1. Anonymous says:

     Actually the cake was an accident! ! The whole incident was scary, to see a grown adult lose total control in public at lunchtime.  It may look a bit weird but i can assure you if you love cupcakes you will love love love this cupcake!!

  2. prin says:

     I love that you predicted this. :D I’m surprised there haven’t been any creme egg rages.

  3. Spencer King says:

     If this was about Prime rib instead of cupcakes I would be the prime suspect

  4. Christina says:

    To be fair, cupcakes are called fairy cakes in the UK, so the "fairy" part isn’t part of the name! But wow – I didn’t know sugar had THAT much control over people!

  5. batty says:

     is that….cotton candy on top of everything else?

     

    because damn.

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